The First Few Rules...

So know we have the leagues covered, its probably best to explain exactly what you can and can't do, so that the next time the man in your life jumps up, punches a wall, or refuses to talk to anyone for a few hours, because of another 'outrageous decision,' you at least have some idea what on Earth is going on.
Now before we cover the dreaded off-side rule, which I know you are all eager to get your teeth into, I'm going to give a quick run down of the basic rules.

Game - I'm sure you're aware of how long you lose your man to the TV for each Saturday, but just in case, the game is made up of two halves, each 45 minutes long.

Teams - There are only 11 players from each team allowed on the pitch at anyone time, and each team can make up to three changes during the 90 minutes, from a selection of seven substitutes.

Fouls - A tackle or challenge of any sort deemed to be unfair by the referee on one player, by a player from another team. Fouls can result in three things, free-kicks, penalties and playing advantage (where the referee allows play to continue)

Free-kicks -  If a foul is committed and there is no advantage to be played,  the other team have won the ball unfairly, the referee will call for a free-kick. The free-kick is taken from the place where the foul occurred, and the opposition players have to stand 10 yards away. This is often seen by many players as an opportunity to have an attempt on goal



Penalties - If a foul is committed inside the penalty area, the referee can award a penalty, which is a free-kick, but from a certain spot  yards from the goal, and only the goal keeper is allowed to stand in between the ball and the goal.

Its Mum's favourite (well mine anyway) David Beckham, with an example of a penalty:



That's most of the simple rules of the beautiful game covered, and you'll soon find that no matter how simple all of these things seem, it is them that causes the most drama on a weekly basis for your man and his team. Was it a penalty? Should it have been a free-kick? Why wasn't there more injury time? All these debates come up at least once a weekend, and cause the sort of controversy your man, and football fans up and down the country, and all around the world talk about on a Sunday morning. So, the next time there's drama on a Saturday afternoon, don't be too shy to give your, now informed opinion too!